I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
– Romans 7:21-25a
This song could easily be called Story of My Life, but we already went down that road with Let It Go, didn’t we? (I actually called this one “Old Man” for a while before renaming it. I’m bad at song titles…)
The Fight is a reference to the inner struggle every Christian faces with sin. We’ve all prayed that infamous prayer – that we’ll never do it again. Whatever the “it” is this week or this year, we occasionally have moments of clarity when we say to ourselves, “I’m a Christian! Jesus has given me victory over sin! So why on earth do I keep messing up?!”
If I’m honest, it’s kind of embarrassing how much I can relate to Paul in Romans 7:15 when he says, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Deep down, I truly love God and want to do what is right, but the smallest thing can set me off or distract me for long enough to lure me away. In the words of Robert Robinson, I am prone to wander.
And then I get confused. I try to will myself into becoming a better person, like I can be faithful to God by my own strength. But it’s only by surrendering to Jesus – acknowledging that I’ll never be strong enough on my own – that I have any hope of conquering my sin. That’s not to say that I’m giving up on fighting temptation or trying to do good! Rather, I’m giving in to God, asking him for intervention and regeneration.
In the midst of it all, God is patient with me. No matter how many times I fail, the Lord welcomes me back with his unconditional, unending love. As I grow closer to Jesus he redirects my heart, conforming my will to his. So I fix my eyes on him and persevere. Even if it takes my whole life (ok, it will take longer than a lifetime), he deserves everything I have to offer. After all, he gave me himself first.
Sooooooooo yeah. I love Jesus. And this song is about that.
Don’t look now, I missed the mark again
How could I let this happen?
I told myself never again
But this old man, he’s creeping up
And I’m not sure I’m strong enough
To ward him off, he’s powerful
And I know I said that I would change
But the more I try, the more I stay the same
I fought it off for as long as I could
And all this time I told myself I’d be good
But I’m so tired of fighting alone
I’ll never be strong enough on my own
But then you came along and you changed it all
You got me outside myself
And it’s wonderful surrendering
You change my outlook, redirect my heart
You give me a brand new start
You always do, and it’s beautiful
And this time, I know that I have changed
In my bones I know I’ll never be the same
So I’m giving in, but I’m not giving up
I’m laying it down for the one I love
Because I’ve found a reason to live
And you deserve everything that my heart can give