I know this might sound strange coming from someone you’ve never met, but…THANK YOU.
Allow me to explain:
Last February, due to insurmountable financial struggles, my church asked me to step down as their worship and youth pastor. After years of penny pinching and declining attendance, the financial load of two full-time pastors became too much for one congregation to bear. I was faced with the difficult decision of either staying and fighting for my job, or walking away and giving the church I love a fighting chance to survive. I chose the latter.
One of the worst parts of receiving this news is that I was asked not to share it with any congregants, which included my parents. For months, I had to keep the secret that my days there were numbered. It was heartbreaking to lead so many “last” youth events without my students knowing about it. Likewise, it was unsettling planning our Easter celebration knowing that a major announcement would be made mere days later.
Needless to say, it was a rough couple of months for me. I confided in my siblings and a few close friends about my situation, for whose support and prayers I am incredibly grateful. But in my day-to-day life, the secret I was carrying left me feeling abandoned and alone. I would play video games for hours, go to movies by myself, or drive aimlessly while praying. Anything to keep myself occupied.
One habit I picked up during my winter of discontent was listening to Christmas music. As you probably remember, this past year’s snowfall was particularly brutal. It felt like we had snowdrifts from December until March! In my aimless driving, I would often pop in Perry Como’s Greatest Christmas Songs and pretend that I was prolonging the magic of Christmas (After all, back in December I had a stable job and a sense of security). I also had a wonderful childhood when it comes to Christmas – my parents pulled out all the stops to make it a special time for me and my siblings. Combined with my penchant for sentimentalism, driving around in the snow suddenly became a welcome escape from otherwise dreary conditions.
So what does this have to do with you? Well, I play in a rock and roll band, and we practice at a house in your neighborhood. After rehearsal one night, I decided to take a different route home…and that’s when I saw it, the house that still had its Christmas lights up! In the bleak midwinter, with Perry Como crooning in the background, the light of Christmas continued to shine for me. It caused me to reflect on the meaning of Christmas: Immanuel, God with us. It served as a reminder that, even though I sometimes may feel alone, I am not. If anyone can relate to me feeling this way, it’s Jesus. He is with me in the midst of my suffering. All this was stirring in my heart just because one family decided to leave their lights up.
So here we are, nine months later…and I wish I had good news to share about finding a new job. But this is real life, and sometimes stories don’t get wrapped up with a bow like a Christmas present. I have faith that God will eventually lead me to the right church, so I am doing my best to trust in his timing. In the meantime, the lights on your house will serve as a reminder of Jesus’ faithfulness. The same baby who was born in a stable would one day die on a cross to save sinners, including me. I am blessed, and I am grateful.
Thank you for the wonderful gift. Merry Christmas!